The BW Trilogy: Part 2

13 October 2011

Hello and good morning to whatever friends I have left.

As you may recall I came out yesterday as a BW and as promised today I will recount how I came to find myself in this sorry position.  I hope you will not judge me but will learn from my mistakes and hopefully view myself and my fellow BWs with a little more sympathy and understanding.

It all began about a year ago when I got a new job as a Concierge (that’s a job with a French name by the way) with a city centre company.  I normally drove to work and sometimes cycled and all was good with the world.  But then one day fate conspired against me and one of our cars was in getting repaired, Alena needed the other and it was raining heavily.  How would I get to work?

Now I knew about BWs, obviously I had seen them huddled in there little groups as I went to work, but I had never paid them much attention other than to feel sorry for their plight.  A friend at work had admitted to me that he had once been a BW and although he had since sorted his life out he insisted that BW’s got a bad press and that their lives were not as abhorrent as society betrayed them.

I was tempted. It was only once. What harm can it do? If only I had known then what I know now.

I told Al I was going to get a lift from a friend and made my way, admittedly with some excitement, down to the bus stop.  There were already a number of BWs there but none looked my way and I moved in behind them in the hope that no one passing would recognise me.  The sign said the next bus was in 4mins and my excitement grew as the time ticked down.  What do I do?  Will I be accepted?  Once I get on how do I get off?  Will I have the courage to push the little bell thingy?  Will I be spotted as a newbie and be picked on by more predatory BWs?  All these and many other questions went through my mind.

Then suddenly the bus was there.  I expected a battling throng pushing and clawing their way onto the bus a snarling mass of humanity intent on feeding their craving and oblivious to anyone or anything around them.  In fact it was a fairly orderly queue and I followed behind watching closely to see what I should do and fearful of making the slightest mistake which would make me stand out from the pack. 

I will explain more tomorrow about the life of a BW and the rules which are unwritten and learned from experience but suffice to say I made it in one piece to my destination and alighted uninjured at my chosen stop. 

Initially I was euphoric and excited by the experience but then I became disgusted with myself and terrified Al would ever discover what I had done and I swore that it was a one off and never to be repeated mistake.  But as the day went on I began to crave the excitement, I wanted to feel the vibrations of that powerful diesel engine, I wanted the smell of the great unwashed in my nostrils, I wanted the sounds of a multitude of shouted mobile conversations and I wanted to put my feet up on the seats even though the sign says not to.

From there it was a rapid downward spiral.  I convinced myself I was just an occasional user and that I had control of it but as the days and weeks went by my usage increased until I was doing it almost every day sometimes twice. 

At first I stuck with Citybus and swore that’s as far as I would go.  But one day an Ulsterbus came to the stop first and as I watched some of my fellow BWs board this I just couldn’t stop myself and took that fateful step and climbed on to my first single decker.  I can honestly say I have only done it a few times but I have the constant urge and it can be a battle to control.  The worst I have ever done was a trip to Dublin airport and fortunately I didn’t really like it although many of my friends now do that habitually and a few of what we would call hardcore have even gone as far as Spain. 

When you reach that stage there is no turning back so I hope I have picked the right time to try and get clean and as I said yesterday this coming out will hopefully lead to a full recovery…………..

Tomorrow the end of the Trilogy with “Life as a BW”

The BW Trilogy: Part 1

12 October 2011

WARNING/APOLOGIES:

• Firstly a warning to ’Stevie’ who told me yesterday my status updates are to long so he should stop reading now.
• Secondly a warning to anyone easily shocked, offended or bored they too should stop reading now.
• And finally an apology to my Mother and Father, who I know read this, who should not blame themselves.  They did their best………..….obviously it just wasn’t good enough.

Ok folks today is a big day……….

It’s the day I declare to the world what I really am.  The day I throw off the harnesses of society’s perceived normality and accept the real me.  It’s the day that I regain some pride in myself and hopefully begin on the road to recovery.  The day I stop living a lie for fear of what others may think and stand proud as the person I am.  It’s the day I come out.………….. (Before Al, who for some reason is a bit pissed at me, outs me herself).

For my name is Malcolm and I am a Bus Wanker (hence forth referred to as a BW).  NB. Just to clarify a BW is a derogatory term for a person who uses the bus not W’s on the bus.

Many of you will, I am sure be shocked and no doubt my friends list will diminish as a result, but it is the 21st Century and although I am not proud of what I am we BW’s should be able to stand up and be counted and no longer stand hiding behind the adverts at the bus stop for fear of public ridicule. 

So yes I am one of those people you see huddled together like penguins wet and cold peering hopefully up the road for a bus that never comes.  I see your sneering faces as you pass by in your 4x4’s, your people carriers and your smart cars.  All warm and cosy with your iPods playing and your heated seats warming your fat asses.  When you see the icicles dripping from our noses and the wind howling through the broken windows of our bus shelters do you ever stop to think?  Do you see us just as part of the street furniture, as poor unfortunates who if they’d tried harder at school could have made more of themselves? 

Well we are humans too, we have feelings, and we have rights.  None of us asked to be BW’s it’s just one of those things that happens.  Maybe its peer pressure, a desire to escape, an inability to say no, or maybe just too cheap to get a car but once you start on this path it is a downward spiral.  But I believe I have reached the bottom I think the realisation that we were being forced into special lanes to keep us away from ordinary folk finally woke me up to how low I had sunk.

There are of course different degrees of BWing with those known as ‘Commuters’ being among the worst and this unfortunately is the group into which I fall.  I know my father used to do it but never talks about it and my mother actually used to take us with her when she did it.  All the kids have done it as well, although they think I don’t know, but fortunately only recreationally and let’s be honest we all experimented when we were young

So today I declare myself a BW and tomorrow I will recount how I came to find myself in this sorry state.  It may be too late to save myself but if my story can save just one other person than it will have been worth it…………………