Never Watch a Program With a Plot Line With a Blonde: Part 2

11 October 2011

Well a couple of nights ago we watched another 2 episodes of “Strike Back Project Dawn” which we had recorded.  As you may recall Al was not that good at keeping up with the plot on the previous occasion we watched this program and I was expecting a few interruptions in order for me to fill her in on what was happening. 

As it turned out it seems my exposing her on Facebook had had the desired effect and there was complete silence during the first episode.  I watched her, however, out of the corner of my eye and I could see periods of intense concentration mixed with looks of utter confusion and occasionally total bewilderment.

Still she kept quiet and we moved on to the next episode.  About 3/4 of the way through her composure finally cracked and she asked the following…..

Plotline: Hero is kneeling beside the man they were sent to rescue who is shot and dying on the floor.  Hero needs him to answer some questions but the man appears to go unconscious so hero shakes him shouting “Alan! Alan!”

Al. “Who is Alan”
Me. [Hit pause} “Well sweetheart I am gonna make a wild guess at this one and I may be wrong but I think it’s probably the guy on the floor he is shaking and shouting “Alan! Alan! at”
Al. {looks at me in silence for a moment then says} “You won’t put this on the internet will you”
Me. “Of course not darling” [hit play]

Everyone has a ‘Wicked side”

Never Watch a Program With a Plot Line With a Blonde

6 October 2011

Never watch a program with a plot line with a blonde.

Last night after our dose of Jeremy Kyle and The Real Housewives we sat down to watch “Strike Back Project Dawn” an action thriller series we have been recording.  Each hour long episode took an hour and a half when we included the number of times I had to pause to explain what was happening to my beautiful but somewhat dim partner.

The incidents are too numerous to mention them all so I have chosen my top 3 and not a word of a lie with any of them.

So in at 3………..

Plot line: The goodies are chasing 3 guys through a South African town ship……

Al: “Why are they chasing them?”
Me: [hit pause] “We just watched a 5 minute briefing that they got which
explains exactly that”
Al: “I missed that. I was thinking”
Me: “What????”
Al: “I was thinking about something and wasn’t paying attention.”
Me: “What were you thinking about?”
Al: “I can’t remember”
Me: “You can’t watch a program like this if you are going to go off randomly
thinking you miss too much”

And now the classic line

Al: “I can’t help it if my brain decides to think it just happens”
Me: “Bloody hell!!!!!” [hit play]

And at 2 we have……..

Plot line: A goody (who by the way is white) who is pretending to be someone else is tied to a chair with a bomb strapped to his chest and the baddy says “We know you’re not who you say you are”

Al: “I bet you that’s because the person he is pretending to be is black”
Me: [hit pause] “What??? That guy just did a 3 minute chase on foot
through Cape Town of the bloke he is pretending to be. At the end of the
chase they had a 2 minute fist fight which ended in him shooting the
baddie. During all of that the baddy was white”
Al: “Oh”
Me: “More importantly what did you think was going on there?”
Al: “I didn’t know”
Me: “Bloody hell!!!!” [hit play]

And in at number one a real classic

Plot line: Two goodies are on surveillance and sitting in the car chatting…..

Al: “What’s a narsol?”
Me: [hit pause] “What????”
Al: “What’s a narsol?”
Me: “I have no idea what you are talking about or what a flipping narsol is”
Al: “Well now who’s not paying attention smart ass. He just said to 
him “Narsol””
Me: “No he just called him “Arsehole”
Al: “Oh”
Me: “Bloody hell!!!!” [hit play]

The worst part is there are 7 more episodes to go…………”Bloody hell”