Al is a BW

18 October 2011

Having trouble typing this morning cos I can’t stop giggling but more on that in a minute.

Firstly though wait to you hear this.  Remember on Saturday I called the girl who won my foreign holiday at the Casino Night a “Cheating, card counting, chip hiding son of a bitch”? Well turns out I was RIGHT.

She was there with a table full (10) of mates and a little bird on the inside has told me the bastards pooled their winnings to make one big winnings.  Technically not against the rules cos there really weren’t any but hey that can’t be in the spirit of the game.  Not back to work until tomorrow and as the whole thing was a charity ‘do’ and I’ll probably live without a weekend in Dundalk, I’m not going to make a fuss but I sure as hell am going to embarrass her through the grape vine..... “Burn the witch”.

Now for the reason for my giggling............

Al is at a course today and guess how she has to get there ................................. the bus.

She asked me yesterday if I could run her to this course and I asked where it was.  She told me and I knew there was a bus stop right outside it so suggested the bus.  A look of horror crossed her face but what could she say I do it every day hehe. 

Last night we had really bad weather and she asked if I would run her down if the weather stayed like this but I said I would take her to the bus stop.

Can’t wait to see her standing in all her fancy gear under the bus shelter trying not to accidently rub against any of the common folk.  If anyone speaks to her she’ll certainly faint and will undoubtedly put her hanky down on the seat before she sits down.  I will, however, lend her my bus pass so she doesn’t have to talk to the Supplier. How good am I?

So its official AL IS A BW..............................................................

First is a Winner Anything Else is a Loser

15 October 2011

Spent the last 8 days on a celery and baked beans diet in order to get into my suit for last night’s big ‘Casino Night’.  Failure was not an option as it would mean wearing a dress so I was delighted that, admittedly with some effort, I was able to get the trousers closed.  Breathing, sitting or pretty much anything was difficult but success none the less.

It was great night as it happens and as usual we won nothing in the various raffles etc.

The big prize for the person who won the most money in the Casino was a weekend in a hotel in Dundalk.  Technically that’s a foreign holiday and it was gonna be mine.

Myself and Al hit the blackjack table but Al quickly got bored and started trying her best to lose.  The funny thing was she couldn’t and every time she went ‘all in’ she won and our pot got bigger and bigger.  I started to look at other folks and saw no one had anything like as much as us and I sent Al to check the other tables and they showed the same.

We might win this sucker, fame and fortune here we come, we’re naturals at this.  Much to Al’s frustration I continued to play and eventually amassed £3000 from only £200.  I should do this for a living............

Anyhow the night went on and we saw no one winning anywhere near what we had and as the time came to announce the winner I started to rehearse my acceptance speech.  All the people I needed to thank, those that stood by me through the hard times, my parents for having me etc etc.

I was still debating whether tears would be appropriate when the announcement came.

“And second prize goes to............” I looked around for the saddo that lost out.  First is a winner anything else is a loser “............. Malcolm”

What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What the F***.  Some cheating, card counting, chip hiding son of a bitch had pipped us at the post.  Our dreams of foreign travel blown to smithereens in a matter of seconds.

Tears were now definitely appropriate but I managed to accept my miserable bottle of champagne with something approaching a smile and even applauded the bitch that won (although I did it as insincerely as I could.)

Any way it was a good night and maybe gambling’s not for us after all.