Spent the last 8 days on a celery and baked beans diet in order to get into my suit for last night’s big ‘Casino Night’. Failure was not an option as it would mean wearing a dress so I was delighted that, admittedly with some effort, I was able to get the trousers closed. Breathing, sitting or pretty much anything was difficult but success none the less.
It was great night as it happens and as usual we won nothing in the various raffles etc.
The big prize for the person who won the most money in the Casino was a weekend in a hotel in Dundalk. Technically that’s a foreign holiday and it was gonna be mine.
Myself and Al hit the blackjack table but Al quickly got bored and started trying her best to lose. The funny thing was she couldn’t and every time she went ‘all in’ she won and our pot got bigger and bigger. I started to look at other folks and saw no one had anything like as much as us and I sent Al to check the other tables and they showed the same.
We might win this sucker, fame and fortune here we come, we’re naturals at this. Much to Al’s frustration I continued to play and eventually amassed £3000 from only £200. I should do this for a living............
Anyhow the night went on and we saw no one winning anywhere near what we had and as the time came to announce the winner I started to rehearse my acceptance speech. All the people I needed to thank, those that stood by me through the hard times, my parents for having me etc etc.
I was still debating whether tears would be appropriate when the announcement came.
“And second prize goes to............” I looked around for the saddo that lost out. First is a winner anything else is a loser “............. Malcolm”
What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tears were now definitely appropriate but I managed to accept my miserable bottle of champagne with something approaching a smile and even applauded the bitch that won (although I did it as insincerely as I could.)
Any way it was a good night and maybe gambling’s not for us after all.
It was great night as it happens and as usual we won nothing in the various raffles etc.
The big prize for the person who won the most money in the Casino was a weekend in a hotel in Dundalk. Technically that’s a foreign holiday and it was gonna be mine.
Myself and Al hit the blackjack table but Al quickly got bored and started trying her best to lose. The funny thing was she couldn’t and every time she went ‘all in’ she won and our pot got bigger and bigger. I started to look at other folks and saw no one had anything like as much as us and I sent Al to check the other tables and they showed the same.
We might win this sucker, fame and fortune here we come, we’re naturals at this. Much to Al’s frustration I continued to play and eventually amassed £3000 from only £200. I should do this for a living............
Anyhow the night went on and we saw no one winning anywhere near what we had and as the time came to announce the winner I started to rehearse my acceptance speech. All the people I needed to thank, those that stood by me through the hard times, my parents for having me etc etc.
I was still debating whether tears would be appropriate when the announcement came.
“And second prize goes to............” I looked around for the saddo that lost out. First is a winner anything else is a loser “............. Malcolm”
What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tears were now definitely appropriate but I managed to accept my miserable bottle of champagne with something approaching a smile and even applauded the bitch that won (although I did it as insincerely as I could.)
Any way it was a good night and maybe gambling’s not for us after all.
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