8 December 2011
Big
night last night for BTW. That’s BTW not BW.…………………………….
”The Brothers of the Third Wheel”
This is a clandestine group to which we belong which gathers together hard-core trikers, the sort of people you ordinary folk would cross the road to avoid. We normally meet once a month and these get-togethers can be scary affairs with the threat of violence always present and a constant tension in the air between the various groups vying for superiority. Deaths at these meetings are not uncommon but usually as a result of old age. One member did die of an overdose which was pretty cool, although it was Viagra and that’s not a pretty site (It actually exploded).
Real names are never used, in order to protect the identity of members, and each of us is referred to by a nickname which stays with you for life. Some are even friends on Facebook though you could never tell.
A few examples are:
“Baddon”: Previously the leader of the pack who was ousted this year following the discovery he was having it away with a member of the “Twisted Sisters” a girl biker group who specialize in taking the virtues of gang leaders and then leading them around like little puppy dogs. He claims his nickname is a play on ‘Bad-one’ and it is merely coincidental his surname is Baddon.
“Twistedsis”: No guessing who this is. If you see her you can be sure “Baddon“ won’t be far behind usually with his tongue hanging out and panting. They are virtually joined at the hip (or somewhere in the groin area) and regularly need a bucket of cold water thrown over them.
“Shark”: Even saying the word sends a shiver down my spine. He took over from Baddon in a well-planned and executed coup and came down on dissenters with ruthless force threatening expulsion, the equivalent to excommunication, to anyone with a problem. He claims his nickname is to demonstrate his ruthlessness and aggressive demeanour and is well named. Personally I note a shark is a totally bald animal and the connection may lie in that direction.
“Happy Snapper”: Sharks other half and never has anyone been so poorly described by her nickname. It should be “You looking at me you piece of shit?! I'll rip your fucking head off!! Bastard!!!!”. As a couple they are a modern day Bonnie and Clyde, Posh and Becks, Zig & Zag and strike terror where ever they go.
“Repoman”: The club enforcer and a refugee from the tenements of Glasgow in Scottieland. Standing at 6ft 4 and 40 stone he is a giant of a man, happy to snap a person in two if ordered to do so, with the conscience of a rabid dog and the morals of a rutting bull. His party piece is to say “Thus bin a mudder”. He is also fond of crochet and usually bakes a cake for club meetings.
“Bouskie”: A man but still the club tart. Not quite what he used to be but still living in the glory days. Remembered for having sex ON his trike while parked in the middle of a rally with all his LED lights blazing and slapping the unfortunate/fortunate young ladies ass in time while singing “She’ll be coming round the mountain”. No longer the man he was and was seen at this year’s rally wandering around drunk with his bits out but no young lady attached.
“Reaper”: Now here’s a man to scare your children with. From the South or “de sout” as he would say he has made a number of failed takeover attempts over the years and has left a trail of destruction in his path. A cold and heartless man whose sole agenda is the pursuit of power. When he failed to win control at the last election he said “Yer a boonch o feckin barstards n oil git evrywon o ya if hits da last ting dat oi do ya koonts”. I think that was Gaelic and no one has a clue what he said but I think he was magnanimous in defeat.
That’s just a few of them and you can see why we strike fear wherever we tread.
By the way myself and Alena have nicknames as well. Mine is “Mal” and Alena’s is “Al”………………………….clever eh????
”The Brothers of the Third Wheel”
This is a clandestine group to which we belong which gathers together hard-core trikers, the sort of people you ordinary folk would cross the road to avoid. We normally meet once a month and these get-togethers can be scary affairs with the threat of violence always present and a constant tension in the air between the various groups vying for superiority. Deaths at these meetings are not uncommon but usually as a result of old age. One member did die of an overdose which was pretty cool, although it was Viagra and that’s not a pretty site (It actually exploded).
Real names are never used, in order to protect the identity of members, and each of us is referred to by a nickname which stays with you for life. Some are even friends on Facebook though you could never tell.
A few examples are:
“Baddon”: Previously the leader of the pack who was ousted this year following the discovery he was having it away with a member of the “Twisted Sisters” a girl biker group who specialize in taking the virtues of gang leaders and then leading them around like little puppy dogs. He claims his nickname is a play on ‘Bad-one’ and it is merely coincidental his surname is Baddon.
“Twistedsis”: No guessing who this is. If you see her you can be sure “Baddon“ won’t be far behind usually with his tongue hanging out and panting. They are virtually joined at the hip (or somewhere in the groin area) and regularly need a bucket of cold water thrown over them.
“Shark”: Even saying the word sends a shiver down my spine. He took over from Baddon in a well-planned and executed coup and came down on dissenters with ruthless force threatening expulsion, the equivalent to excommunication, to anyone with a problem. He claims his nickname is to demonstrate his ruthlessness and aggressive demeanour and is well named. Personally I note a shark is a totally bald animal and the connection may lie in that direction.
“Happy Snapper”: Sharks other half and never has anyone been so poorly described by her nickname. It should be “You looking at me you piece of shit?! I'll rip your fucking head off!! Bastard!!!!”. As a couple they are a modern day Bonnie and Clyde, Posh and Becks, Zig & Zag and strike terror where ever they go.
“Repoman”: The club enforcer and a refugee from the tenements of Glasgow in Scottieland. Standing at 6ft 4 and 40 stone he is a giant of a man, happy to snap a person in two if ordered to do so, with the conscience of a rabid dog and the morals of a rutting bull. His party piece is to say “Thus bin a mudder”. He is also fond of crochet and usually bakes a cake for club meetings.
“Bouskie”: A man but still the club tart. Not quite what he used to be but still living in the glory days. Remembered for having sex ON his trike while parked in the middle of a rally with all his LED lights blazing and slapping the unfortunate/fortunate young ladies ass in time while singing “She’ll be coming round the mountain”. No longer the man he was and was seen at this year’s rally wandering around drunk with his bits out but no young lady attached.
“Reaper”: Now here’s a man to scare your children with. From the South or “de sout” as he would say he has made a number of failed takeover attempts over the years and has left a trail of destruction in his path. A cold and heartless man whose sole agenda is the pursuit of power. When he failed to win control at the last election he said “Yer a boonch o feckin barstards n oil git evrywon o ya if hits da last ting dat oi do ya koonts”. I think that was Gaelic and no one has a clue what he said but I think he was magnanimous in defeat.
That’s just a few of them and you can see why we strike fear wherever we tread.
By the way myself and Alena have nicknames as well. Mine is “Mal” and Alena’s is “Al”………………………….clever eh????
No comments:
Post a Comment