27 October 2011
Today’s
ramblings come by way of a big apology to two very good friends of mine who,
through bad luck, bad timing and a series of ‘Fuck ups’ on my part were caused
some upset last night.
In order not to cause further insult I will call them Joe and Sue and I hope they don’t mind me telling this sorry tale as a salutary lesson to all Facebookers.
It all began yesterday evening when a group of friends called at my house for coffee and a chat and generally shooting the breeze. Joe was amongst the group and while Sue would normally be with him he had come straight from work and she was otherwise engaged.
All was going well and the craic was good and while Joe was chatting to someone else another friend was explaining to me the clever little things you can do on Facebook that I was still unaware of. In this case it was video chat and we decided to give it a go. I went on my page and looked to see who was online and spotted Sue was lit up.
I opened a message box but instead of just saying “Hi” I typed “Sue have u seen Joe he never showed up. He rang from a pub but that’s the last we heard” (Fuck up No1). What was meant to happen was she’d say “What!!!” and we’d pretend he had rung from a lap dancing club etc etc then swing the laptop around so he was on video waving like a big gormless idiot. Really funny in a 5yr old sort of way. What actually happened was the message came back saying Sue was offline and unavailable for video chat.
Oh poop, we thought in an equally 5yr old sort of way, and swiftly moved on to try and find someone else to play with (Fuck up No2). I had of course forgotten that the message I had just sent had no intention of moving on and was, in fact, a message with a mission shooting around in cyber space intent on finding Sue, wherever she may be, and delivering itself.
Anyhow the night progressed and went on a little longer than planned but eventually our chums left and Joe began his journey home of about 1/2 hour. By total coincidence 1/2 hour later our phone rang and bad luck entered the fray in that it was me instead of Al who answered.
It was Sue and me being a man I failed to notice the slightly distressed tone in her voice when she asked “Did he get there yet” (Fuck up No3). At first I couldn't think what she was talking about but then remembered my ‘hilarious’ message and the penny dropped. What I should have said was “Of course he did. I was only messing. We were playing on the computer”. What I actually said was “No he never showed the last we heard he was in a lap dancing club and couldn’t talk as he was up on the pole in 2minutes” (Fuck up No4).
Now I’m sure your thinking no one would take that statement seriously but this is where bad timing joined in for as I said the second half of the above sentence Sue was talking back and didn’t hear it as she said to me “Oh he is pulling into the drive now” and promptly hung up.
So at this point in time here is where we all stood………
Sue………. Told by me in writing and now verbally that Joe never showed and had been at the pub all night.
Joe……….. Skipping merrily into the house without a care in the world and
completely unaware of any of the above.
Me………...Blissfully ignorant of the trouble I had caused and knocking back gins like there’s no tomorrow.
Now I have no idea what happened when poor Joe entered the house but suffice to say that about 15mins later our phone rang again and it was Joe who calmly asked “Mal will you for fuck sake tell Sue where I was tonight”.
Fortunately this time I grasped what had happened immediately and began a grovelling if inadequate series of apologies to both parties and hopefully they will forgive me particularly now they have seen my explanation above.
So sorry again guys but sometimes my mouth engages way ahead of my brain.
And Facebookers remember you might be smiling when you type it but that doesn’t show at the other end……………
In order not to cause further insult I will call them Joe and Sue and I hope they don’t mind me telling this sorry tale as a salutary lesson to all Facebookers.
It all began yesterday evening when a group of friends called at my house for coffee and a chat and generally shooting the breeze. Joe was amongst the group and while Sue would normally be with him he had come straight from work and she was otherwise engaged.
All was going well and the craic was good and while Joe was chatting to someone else another friend was explaining to me the clever little things you can do on Facebook that I was still unaware of. In this case it was video chat and we decided to give it a go. I went on my page and looked to see who was online and spotted Sue was lit up.
I opened a message box but instead of just saying “Hi” I typed “Sue have u seen Joe he never showed up. He rang from a pub but that’s the last we heard” (Fuck up No1). What was meant to happen was she’d say “What!!!” and we’d pretend he had rung from a lap dancing club etc etc then swing the laptop around so he was on video waving like a big gormless idiot. Really funny in a 5yr old sort of way. What actually happened was the message came back saying Sue was offline and unavailable for video chat.
Oh poop, we thought in an equally 5yr old sort of way, and swiftly moved on to try and find someone else to play with (Fuck up No2). I had of course forgotten that the message I had just sent had no intention of moving on and was, in fact, a message with a mission shooting around in cyber space intent on finding Sue, wherever she may be, and delivering itself.
Anyhow the night progressed and went on a little longer than planned but eventually our chums left and Joe began his journey home of about 1/2 hour. By total coincidence 1/2 hour later our phone rang and bad luck entered the fray in that it was me instead of Al who answered.
It was Sue and me being a man I failed to notice the slightly distressed tone in her voice when she asked “Did he get there yet” (Fuck up No3). At first I couldn't think what she was talking about but then remembered my ‘hilarious’ message and the penny dropped. What I should have said was “Of course he did. I was only messing. We were playing on the computer”. What I actually said was “No he never showed the last we heard he was in a lap dancing club and couldn’t talk as he was up on the pole in 2minutes” (Fuck up No4).
Now I’m sure your thinking no one would take that statement seriously but this is where bad timing joined in for as I said the second half of the above sentence Sue was talking back and didn’t hear it as she said to me “Oh he is pulling into the drive now” and promptly hung up.
So at this point in time here is where we all stood………
Sue………. Told by me in writing and now verbally that Joe never showed and had been at the pub all night.
Joe……….. Skipping merrily into the house without a care in the world and
completely unaware of any of the above.
Me………...Blissfully ignorant of the trouble I had caused and knocking back gins like there’s no tomorrow.
Now I have no idea what happened when poor Joe entered the house but suffice to say that about 15mins later our phone rang again and it was Joe who calmly asked “Mal will you for fuck sake tell Sue where I was tonight”.
Fortunately this time I grasped what had happened immediately and began a grovelling if inadequate series of apologies to both parties and hopefully they will forgive me particularly now they have seen my explanation above.
So sorry again guys but sometimes my mouth engages way ahead of my brain.
And Facebookers remember you might be smiling when you type it but that doesn’t show at the other end……………
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