21 October 2011
The
‘Charity Committee’ in my work have a fund raising fry up on the last Friday of each
month and a few months ago they asked me to stick up a poster to advertise it. I couldn’t help myself but make it a witty poster and they liked it so much
they ask me every month to do another. How brill am I?!
Anyway I am sitting doing this month's and it just reminded me of last one I did which was censored by the thought police due to a totally paranoid bit of PC-ness.
I’ll not bore you with the details but the topic was based on a write up for a movie and ended with a “What the critics say” and these were as follows (by the way George is the guy that does the fry……………
***** “A Totally Tantalising Tasty Treat”……………… The Sun
***** “ So good Jordan wants to have George's babies”… The Star
***** “ Jolly good show and a fine feast”…………….... The Times
***** “ The best F’ing fry I’ve ever F’ing had”………… Gordon Ramsey
* “ I hated it”……………………………………….. Vegan weekly
.
So I passed this on to George, who was standing reading it and having a good giggle when our HR manager passed by. “Have a read at this “ says George "it’s very funny" and the boss duly did…….
Boss: “ Hehe, hehe, hehe, hehe, Oh!!
Me: “Oh what?
Boss: “You can’t say that”
Me: “What?”
Boss: “Jordon wants to have George’s babies”
Me: “Why not?
Boss: “Someone might be offended”
Me: “Well George thinks it’s funny and Jordon is unlikely to see it so who are you referring to?
Boss: “You know what people are like. There’s always someone. Best play it safe”
Me: “But I don’t see what might be offensive. There is I suppose the suggestion that George and Jordon may have to have sex but even our potential offendee must be aware that sex does occur in society in fact that’s why they themselves exist.”
Boss: “It’s not worth upsetting anyone. It’s not me it’s just the way things are.”
Me: “Well you're flipping upsetting me does that not count. Aw forget it.”
Boss: “You can’t say that either. The Gordon Ramsey bit.”
Me: “And why would that be?”
Boss: “Well that’s pretty obvious it’s suggesting the word ‘Fuck’.”
Me: [being a smartass] “No it’s actually suggesting the word ‘Flip’. You made it into ‘Fuck’ so that came from your head. For you to do that you need to
know the word ‘Fuck’ and you choose to insert it there. So if our offendee
is offended by a word that they have thought of how is that my fault?”
Boss: [losing the argument and his sense of humour] “Just take it out!!!”
Me: “Ok” (let’s be honest a job's a job.)
This month my poster features a black, fat, gay, muslim priest who is trying to entice young children with an offer of a good ole Ulster Fry. Let’s see how that goes down!!
Anyway I am sitting doing this month's and it just reminded me of last one I did which was censored by the thought police due to a totally paranoid bit of PC-ness.
I’ll not bore you with the details but the topic was based on a write up for a movie and ended with a “What the critics say” and these were as follows (by the way George is the guy that does the fry……………
***** “A Totally Tantalising Tasty Treat”……………… The Sun
***** “ So good Jordan wants to have George's babies”… The Star
***** “ Jolly good show and a fine feast”…………….... The Times
***** “ The best F’ing fry I’ve ever F’ing had”………… Gordon Ramsey
* “ I hated it”……………………………………….. Vegan weekly
.
So I passed this on to George, who was standing reading it and having a good giggle when our HR manager passed by. “Have a read at this “ says George "it’s very funny" and the boss duly did…….
Boss: “ Hehe, hehe, hehe, hehe, Oh!!
Me: “Oh what?
Boss: “You can’t say that”
Me: “What?”
Boss: “Jordon wants to have George’s babies”
Me: “Why not?
Boss: “Someone might be offended”
Me: “Well George thinks it’s funny and Jordon is unlikely to see it so who are you referring to?
Boss: “You know what people are like. There’s always someone. Best play it safe”
Me: “But I don’t see what might be offensive. There is I suppose the suggestion that George and Jordon may have to have sex but even our potential offendee must be aware that sex does occur in society in fact that’s why they themselves exist.”
Boss: “It’s not worth upsetting anyone. It’s not me it’s just the way things are.”
Me: “Well you're flipping upsetting me does that not count. Aw forget it.”
Boss: “You can’t say that either. The Gordon Ramsey bit.”
Me: “And why would that be?”
Boss: “Well that’s pretty obvious it’s suggesting the word ‘Fuck’.”
Me: [being a smartass] “No it’s actually suggesting the word ‘Flip’. You made it into ‘Fuck’ so that came from your head. For you to do that you need to
know the word ‘Fuck’ and you choose to insert it there. So if our offendee
is offended by a word that they have thought of how is that my fault?”
Boss: [losing the argument and his sense of humour] “Just take it out!!!”
Me: “Ok” (let’s be honest a job's a job.)
This month my poster features a black, fat, gay, muslim priest who is trying to entice young children with an offer of a good ole Ulster Fry. Let’s see how that goes down!!
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