7 December 2011
Was
lying in bed again this morning thinking about thinking.
This topic got me really confused but I have come to the following conclusion and I speak metaphorically of course……..
A human being is simply a well-oiled and generally smoothly run business made up of a multitude of small departments which work hand in hand to get each individual through the trials of life. The you you think you are is simply the face of the company, the Chief Executive as it were. Whilst you think you are in control, the company is a big machine and, while you may have the casting vote, that only works if a vote is actually held.
Take for example last Friday night when I had my little mishap with alcohol. Had I been sober the evening would have gone very differently………………
My Senses Department would have smelt the burger and sent a memo to all other Department heads as a matter of course. The stomach would have picked up on the idea, as it was at that time low on stock, and requested a meeting to discuss the possible intake of fresh supplies.
Only relevant departments would have been invited initially to discuss the major factors. Transport (how do we get there), Finance (are there sufficient funds for a burger AND a taxi home), Health (is a burger appropriate considering my food intake that day), Time and Motion (is the reward worth the effort) and of course the Conscience Department (a small Department in my case and only there because the law demands it) which covers things like the effect on the environment and society in general.
Now, up to this point the you-that-you-think-you-are has had nothing to do with this and all these meetings are going on behind closed doors. Once the committee has made a decision, "let’s get a burger", it is put before the board and normally accepted. The only likely exception to this rule would be if the Sight Department reported a particularly attractive young lady looking your way in which case a state of emergency is declared and the Flirting and Sexual Arousal Departments take over in a bloodless coup.
That’s the norm but throw drink into the mix and it all goes to shit.
You are no longer the head of a well-oiled machine but instead a group of independent companies all vying for control and in direct competition with each other.
You have more chance of getting Gerry Adams to father Ian Paisley's baby than get this crowd of belligerent self-serving buggers to work together.
The Senses Department has a liking for burger and at the first whiff sends a message to the Transport Department to follow the smell, bypassing the stomach at this initial point. Transport is divided in two, left and right leg, and these are bitter rivals. Both attempt to go first causing you to fall flat on your face. Once up again they try to go in different directions and a power struggle ensues.
Meanwhile Senses has told a few of his mates what’s on offer and Finance is pointing out you have only a few coins left as you have bought too much drink but what the fuck. Health is in hospital feeling a bit unwell, Time and Motion argues that walking to Moscow on broken glass would be worth a burger and Conscience has been shot for dissent.
The-you-that-you-think-you-are has no knowledge of any of this and no one has any intention of telling you. The Departments are basically doing whatever they like and you will go along in a drooling, smirking, bleary eyed daze. I remember on Friday when I fell in front of the City Hall (doesn’t it make you proud) it was like being in a pilotless plane. The-me-that-is-me saw the pavement rushing up to smack me in the gob and sent an urgent message to the Hands to break my fall. They however were cozied up in my pockets and refused to come out saying it was Face's problem and demanding a risk assessment.
The lesson of course is no company can function well if it’s staffed by a bunch of alcoholics and the-you-that-you-think-you-are is responsible for recruitment.
I think this thinking about thinking makes me think that thinking is thinking only if you think it is and if you think you were thinking it doesn’t mean you actually were. I could go on but I’m sure you get my drift.
Hold that thought……………………….
This topic got me really confused but I have come to the following conclusion and I speak metaphorically of course……..
A human being is simply a well-oiled and generally smoothly run business made up of a multitude of small departments which work hand in hand to get each individual through the trials of life. The you you think you are is simply the face of the company, the Chief Executive as it were. Whilst you think you are in control, the company is a big machine and, while you may have the casting vote, that only works if a vote is actually held.
Take for example last Friday night when I had my little mishap with alcohol. Had I been sober the evening would have gone very differently………………
My Senses Department would have smelt the burger and sent a memo to all other Department heads as a matter of course. The stomach would have picked up on the idea, as it was at that time low on stock, and requested a meeting to discuss the possible intake of fresh supplies.
Only relevant departments would have been invited initially to discuss the major factors. Transport (how do we get there), Finance (are there sufficient funds for a burger AND a taxi home), Health (is a burger appropriate considering my food intake that day), Time and Motion (is the reward worth the effort) and of course the Conscience Department (a small Department in my case and only there because the law demands it) which covers things like the effect on the environment and society in general.
Now, up to this point the you-that-you-think-you-are has had nothing to do with this and all these meetings are going on behind closed doors. Once the committee has made a decision, "let’s get a burger", it is put before the board and normally accepted. The only likely exception to this rule would be if the Sight Department reported a particularly attractive young lady looking your way in which case a state of emergency is declared and the Flirting and Sexual Arousal Departments take over in a bloodless coup.
That’s the norm but throw drink into the mix and it all goes to shit.
You are no longer the head of a well-oiled machine but instead a group of independent companies all vying for control and in direct competition with each other.
You have more chance of getting Gerry Adams to father Ian Paisley's baby than get this crowd of belligerent self-serving buggers to work together.
The Senses Department has a liking for burger and at the first whiff sends a message to the Transport Department to follow the smell, bypassing the stomach at this initial point. Transport is divided in two, left and right leg, and these are bitter rivals. Both attempt to go first causing you to fall flat on your face. Once up again they try to go in different directions and a power struggle ensues.
Meanwhile Senses has told a few of his mates what’s on offer and Finance is pointing out you have only a few coins left as you have bought too much drink but what the fuck. Health is in hospital feeling a bit unwell, Time and Motion argues that walking to Moscow on broken glass would be worth a burger and Conscience has been shot for dissent.
The-you-that-you-think-you-are has no knowledge of any of this and no one has any intention of telling you. The Departments are basically doing whatever they like and you will go along in a drooling, smirking, bleary eyed daze. I remember on Friday when I fell in front of the City Hall (doesn’t it make you proud) it was like being in a pilotless plane. The-me-that-is-me saw the pavement rushing up to smack me in the gob and sent an urgent message to the Hands to break my fall. They however were cozied up in my pockets and refused to come out saying it was Face's problem and demanding a risk assessment.
The lesson of course is no company can function well if it’s staffed by a bunch of alcoholics and the-you-that-you-think-you-are is responsible for recruitment.
I think this thinking about thinking makes me think that thinking is thinking only if you think it is and if you think you were thinking it doesn’t mean you actually were. I could go on but I’m sure you get my drift.
Hold that thought……………………….
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